Contradiction

strike up the band
he smiles
turn up the lights
he coos
everyone cheers
he breathes
everyone waits
he sleeps

Two AM

Like clockwork.
Once a week.
Wake me up.
"I can't sleep."

whisper
tiptoe
d
...o
......w
..........n
..............s
.................t
....................a
........................i
...........................r
...............................s

Hot chocolate.
Start the tape.
Be quiet!
In case she wakes...

drowsy
feel safe
wide awake

Bleed

Please, I said
Please, please...

don't die

I can't imagine
my life
without you

Fight it just a little

l o n g e r

Please, for me
Please, not yet

i have so much left to learn
you have so much left to teach

For you... i need
For you... i bleed

Intrigue

The corner of her mouth is turned up
As she beckons me closer
Her breath smells of stale cigarettes
And .vodka.
She
licks
her
lips
And draws me in
A beautiful spider weaving the web
The Night
is dark
The Time
is late
Her eyes are encapsulating
Covering me, Taking me in, Making me shiver
with
anticipation
of things to come...

W(a)nder

I w a l k
Through life
Not knowing
Questioning everything
My life
My love
My thoughts, ideas, feelings
Your motives
Your looks
Your questions

I watch
e v e r y t h i n g
The trees
The bees
The birds
My words
Your eyes
Your lies
Your lips

I hear
the tone of your voice when you ask if i'm okay
the music playing softly in the background of my day
the engine of his car revving as he drove away
the condescending voice in my head as i try to hide the pain

I feel
empowered
alive
wise
and
free

I feel
like
me

Self-Absorbed

the other night you told me
that you're just not good enough


that you're

lost
and
scared

and damaged goods

and don't deserve to be loved...

that he said that and she did this

and because of it

you're worthless

that-you're-dying-inside-because-you-don't-know-how-to-make-it-hurt-less

this

NAMELESS
FACELESS
BLAMELESS

.pain.

that resides in each of us

deep inside our souls

keeping us from seeing the bigger picture
keeping us...

OBSESSED

Secret

I need to tell you something,
It's kind of a secret,
But it's not bad or anything,
It's not something I'll regret.

I hope you don't think I'm silly,
It's not really a big deal,
But it's not something I say willy-nilly,
And to me it's very real.

I don't know how to say this,
I hope you'd say it too,
Sometimes it's easier just to kiss,
But I need to say:
I love you.

Moving On

She wears dark sunglasses
To hide red eyes
Says she has a phone call
So she can go and cry
Laughs and jokes in class
Goes home and wants to die
Needs a change, needs a chance
Grabs onto some hope

Morning

Wake up
Birds sing
Breeze blows
Creek runs
Kids laugh
Green grows
It's spring

Conversation With Myself

Not-so-quietly
The nine-year-old inside me waits
She speaks breathlessly
Of flowers, white dresses and vows
Talks incessantly
Of song lists, rings, doves, invitations
Whispers so quickly
I love you forever and ever
And asks so loudly
When will he, when will he ask...
Will you?